Don’t Listen to Other People

A day like a million others, I had already spent way too much work-time on irrelevant activities that, what initially looked like, would make it go away into oblivion rather quick. The evening, however, was more than willing to neutralize the previous harm. I was sitting in a modest cafe, not the prettiest I have ever been to, but it did not matter at the time. I was having a small cup of white coffee that resembled those you can get on your way in an Italian train Frecciarossa, unlucky, the appearance was not in line with an unforgettable taste of Ferrara. A partner of a sitting was sipping a glass of hot sweet-smelling earl gray tea, quite a good choice for that time of a year, wasn’t it? Actually, we did hit Italy in our conversation, and fortunately for me, it was not about the amount of Prosecco I tend to consume over warm spring nightfalls. We talked about traveling to the glamourous city of Venice, we both were there in 2015, and our experiences and reception of that place are just totally different. Drolly, she told me exactly the same thing what I had heard from several other people before my trip to the Veneto Region – the odor is unbearable and a number of tourists are heavily overwhelming. I did not notice anything like that, and the question arises, did we really visit the same place? No question, If I had listened to everyone who was downplaying the beauty of Venice, I would have never had the occasion to find it out on my own. I suggest not to make decisions based on others’ individual judgments and be ready to take responsibility for actions you take. It will eventually pay off.

What is actually wrong with that approach?
For all the years during our school, university time and so on, we have been taught there could be only one and the only one correct answer. Remember when you had to make an interpretation of your teacher’s favorite poem? And it turned out that yours and his/her were going in an opposite direction. Whose was approved? Yep, no more words are needed. We all are unlucky products of the old-fashioned style educational system. The only way to master to take your own direction is to force yourself to stop asking for a piece of advice on particular things. I am not claiming that there is a lot of wrong-doing in consulting your choices with the others. Yet, there are matters which ought to be decided by you and no one else. Start with minor things, track the outcome of your judgments, make notes what went good and what was a total disaster. Step by step, you feel accountable for the choices you make on a daily basis. Yes, I am convincing you to acquire the ability to rate yourself. After you have done it a few times in a row, you will come to apprehend that life does not get better and more satisfying when you rely on the information from the others, it just seems less precarious. And is the life only about staying in a safe zone? Rather not.
Would you be able to be brave enough to ask others how to raise your kids? To tell you how to cope with your family? How to get going with a girlfriend? How to be happy? I will always advocate for hearing from your closest peers, but in the end, the responsibility and the choice will always be yours.
You see, it is quite an easy task to shake off the burden, guilt, and duty while you constantly co-share your selections.

It is weird, but everyone is different
I am not trying to talk that everyone is a unique snowflake falling down the dark winter sky, I do not buy this at all. But human beings vary in the other way, we have different tastes, palates, likings, flavors or preferences. There are folks who might simply adore the Andy Warhol’s craft, and the others would clearly say it is just rubbish and shoddy. The harsh truth is the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, therefore, the life is a neverending river of relativity. Before mentioned Venice might as well be a terrible place for your best friend, whereas, you will find the city as a heaven on the Earth. That is simple, the only bad choice is the one you have never made.

Tomasz Kurowski

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